Why am I surprised?

In the last few weeks, some pretty amazing things have happened in my life, and in the lives of my friends. One had a WWIII-grade conflict resolve into amazing harmony, inside a painful situation. Another had their 5 year old son come through a difficult surgery with flying colors. A third had her developmentally-delayed daughter show some amazing developmental promise. In my world, I'm finding the strength and vision to change some things about my life that have been needing attention for years. I'm seeing results I never thought I would see, not the least of which is that I ran farther than I've ever run in my life a few days ago. All of this is incredible, and I find myself surprised by these things.

And in terms of amazing experiences, something I got to be part of this weekend capped it. Friday evening, I picked up my 9 year old niece for Good Friday service. She doesn't normally sit through a full service, ever, and asked a few times how long it would be. But she did an admirable job of sitting still, and (I think) actually paying attention. The pastor who was preaching that night called all the kids up front to sit around a huge wooden cross lying on the floor, and proceeded to explain Jesus' death and resurrection in some powerfully simple language.

Her mom had given her the option of taking communion or not, because Mom wouldn't be there to go with her. When it was time, I asked my niece if she wanted to go, and if she knew why we were doing this; I wanted to know what her understanding was of the whole rather overwhelming concept. And she took my hand, and looked straight at me, saying "because Jesus did what we can't do for ourselves. He died for us." And then, still holding my hand, led the way to the table. And I just lost it. (Thankfully, I managed to be discreet. She didn't notice -- I think it might have freaked her out a little if she had.) Somehow, there was something so powerful, so simple, and so real about hearing it in those terms, after years of hearing adults try to say it originally or analyze it or otherwise unintentionally dilute the concept. I was surprised by how much it moved me.

I find myself wondering why I'm so surprised when God shows up. When He does powerful, often miraculous things that only He can do. (I'm hesitant to use the word miraculous; it's so often used flippantly or even callously. But I don't know how else to describe some of these things.) He is very clear that He is involved in our lives - that we matter to Him, that He is present and working and more aware than we are of all that is at work within us and around us.

So why am I surprised? The awe and wonder, the reminder of His character and His love for me is never a bad thing. But shouldn't I somehow expect that He will move in big ways? Shouldn't I be looking for evidence of Him in the way things play out?

I don't know. Should is a dangerous word. It can lead to some pretty black & white thinking. All I know is I was surprised, and I'm hoping I can keep growing this relationship to the point where I am awed, and thankful, but maybe not surprised when God shows up. And does exactly as He's promised - to will and to act according to His good purpose, according to the power that is at work within us.