Processing

This post has been a few weeks in the making. I've been processing these things in my head since the end of May, trying to understand them, trying to figure out how to communicate what I've been experiencing. This is my attempt, imperfect though it is.

I am white. I'm a woman. I grew up in privilege, and by nature of who I am, I haven't truly experienced much (if any) injustice in my life. I've attempted to learn, to understand, to see the injustice that happens to my friends and neighbors of color on a daily basis. And slowly, my eyes are being opened. Even though I know I won't ever completely "get it" on the level of daily experience, I hope I'm changing.

Recently, I experienced something that (I hope) is contributing to this process. I was fired from my job for a completely unfounded reason. I was accused of doing something I knew I didn't do. I'm pretty sure they knew I didn't do it, either. No matter what I said, or how I tried to stand up for myself (though I didn't try as hard as I should have - I was too surprised), I was going to lose that job.

And I have to wonder if at least one of God's purposes in allowing this to happen is to teach me, on a very small level, what it is to experience injustice. I've rarely been in an experience where I knew I had been wronged and yet knew I had no recourse (or very little) to fix what was wrong. I know it's nothing similar to the systemic injustice people around me experience every day. But as I've tried to process what happened and what I'm supposed to learn from it, that thought just keeps crossing my mind.

I'll never know what it is to daily experience the systemic injustice that those around me deal with on a conscious and subconscious level every single day of their lives. But I do hope that I'm able to walk away from this with at least a modicum of connection to it. And I'll try to let it drive me to work harder for change in our incredibly messed up world.

Please feel free to comment here -- with whatever responses you might have. Good, bad, ugly, "where do you get off", whatever. I'm interested in what you think. Thanks.